So Many Sorrows

Found out today that a friend from college died.
Dear old Joey Lutz drowned in Panama.
How unexpected.
He was a strong swimmer.

I myself had just finished 1600 meters
in the pool.
Even with the fog
it was refreshing.
In the locker room
I checked my phone; one missed call from Nate.

“When you get this, give me a call.”

After nearly nine years,
I know that tone of voice.

Remember the time Joey and Tyler
forced you to lick the banana slug?
Or when Joey dressed up as Jesus for Halloween
And dragged that enormous cross all over Santa Cruz?

We were so angry when he bailed
on the Big Sur camping trip.

And that was the last time
we saw him.

Joey was the kind of English teacher
kids really need.
According to the Samo website, grief counseling is available
for those who need it.

This is not the first sorrow
nor will it be
the last.

*****

At night, I snuggle so close to Nate
that I can feel
my heart beating against his back
and I can feel
his heart beating against my arms
tightly encircling his hairy chest.

I exhale
and
he exhales.

Breathing out
to try and release
so many sorrows

locked inside.